I created this blog about an hour ago, mainly because I had a lot on my mind and no one to tell it to, so I thought I'd write it down. I'm not new to blogging, I've probably got an account on every blogging site there is, I just get bored after a while, but I hope I stick this one through for at least a couple of months.
Today I was meant to go out to Bedford with my friends, but plans changed and I ended up staying at home. Me and my mum went out to Hitchin town instead to see wallpaper samples for my room, (oh, yeah I'm having it re-decorated for my 16th birthday in a few months!). I'm a lot happier about it now as I have many ideas and I know pretty much exactly what I want, I even chose curtains to match. The only problem is the cost, it's getting a bit ridiculous, even though I chose a cheaper wallpaper too. The thing is I also need a shelf, a dressing table, and a lot more. It's not as simple as it seems, and the worst part is that the only dressing table I can find that looks remotely nice and fits in with the ides i had in my head is from Laura Ashley, £899. My parents are refusing to buy it for me, and I don't blame them, so I guess I'm going to have to save up for it myself. I don't even understand why it's so expensive! But that's my room so far. Not even near finished and it was meant to be by the end of the summer holidays, which isn't far off, (3 weeks I'd say).
We just watched MTV Cribs as well, and it showed Tamara Mellon's house, this is the part that really got to me. She has the most amazing house, and the most amazing job. I would kill to be her because I so want a job in the fashion industry. The problem is that the only way to get anywhere near the top is to be born into it, something which no matter how hard you work for you never achieve. Tamara's mum was a Chanel model. Which is another job I would love to have. Problem is I'm a size 8 and 5'3", not exactly what you would call a model's height. Which is why I turned to the designing side of things, because whatever happens in my life I know I want to break into that world, it'll take courage and hard work, but I'll do it eventually simply because I know it's what I was born to do. I mean, I'd pick my fashion and clothes over boys any day. Unless he was amazing, like Cristiano Ronaldo, or the Jonas Brothers, huh, a girl can only dream... <3 But I've been so involved with this whole fashion thing ever since I was little I've never even had a proper boyfriend, and the weirdest part is that it doesn't even bother me. I don't feel like I've missed out on anything because I think I have time for all that stuff in the future, and I'm way to involved with other stuff. Another reason being - God, I'm going to sound like such a nerd - that it's a distraction for my school work. I haven't done my GCSE's yet, I'll be doing them next year and lets just say that I haven't had the best year at school this year. I stopped trying in all my chosen subjects and just never started trying in the others. My parents weren't too happy about it, they're not the kind of people to let stuff like this slip. I come from a family where I have a lot of older cousins and every single one of them has made it, despite the fact that they all went to state school, so, you know the one girl of the family whose dad can afford private school should get even further than the rest, right? Wrong. I just couldn't be bothered to work at all last year, and the other thing is that it's so depressing when they've got so far in their lives. They're all like doctors, dentists, heart surgeons, lawyers and one has her own fashion clothes shop in Sweden. It's just a lot to live up to.
I also kind of have this reputation for being, "blonde at heart", I'm not blonde in real life I'm a brunette. It's not a good name though, it doesn't exactly bother me, like, I don't get upset by it or anything, it's just that it's kind of had the subcontial effect on me, where I don't even try at things anymore, because there's no point I won't be able to do it because I'm "blonde at heart". Well, this next year at school's going to be different. I'm going to go back and make notes in every lesson, I'm going to hand in all my homework on time and I'm going to LEARN, actually listen and learn something because I HAVE to pass my GCSE's, and right now all my teachers think I'm going to fail. That's another thing you should know about me, I'm one of those people that if someone doesn't believe in me, I'll work 3 times as hard, just to prove them wrong and show that I can do anything, because that's what I really want to believe in my heart, that I can actually do anything if I put my mind to it.
anyways, latersss xx
